My Big Why

quotes-933816_1920There I was, the stay at home mom, by choice.  Most days I loved it but there were, of course, days were I felt frazzled and at the end of my rope.  For the most part, things ran pretty well.  We were only slightly late for things, we usually had clean laundry, there was always dinner on the table and the kids got to do the activities they wanted.  I really wanted to contribute to the family finances and to the world but it was easier and safer to stay in my little bubble, at home, doing what I had been doing, just wishing I had some purpose, some way to contribute.

 I came across EFT after having had an unusual and intense argument with a close friend that left me questioning myself on a deep level.  EFT helped me to release that confusion, that doubt.  I was simply amazed with the technique. So I started learning more about it and eventually became certified to be an EFT Practitioner.  I felt really strongly that I could help people through EFT.  So I hired a coach and got to work on creating my own practice.  

 So, I was now juggling my stay-at-home mom duties, plus trying to learn everything I could about EFT and my own self care, plus trying to start up a business from scratch, plus trying to enroll and see clients.  The pressure I placed on myself just built and built.  And one day, I quite literally Lost it.  I had the mother of all temper tantrums.  My kids had been bickering all day.  We had just returned from the supermarket, which had been beyond frustrating with both kids with me.  I was in the kitchen washing dishes and they started in on each other again.  I snapped.  I walked into the room they were in and lost my mind.  I started yelling about them bickering, which lead to why couldn’t they just listen to me the first time I asked them to stop, to why couldn’t they follow directions, to why couldn’t they just brush their teeth in the morning without being told, etc., etc.  I lost is so badly that I hauled off and kicked the recliner chair that was sitting next to me.  Pain shot up my foot and leg.  That chair was SOLID!!  That pissed me off even more!! I hobbled into the next room, still yelling about every little thing, yanked off my flip flops and chucked them across the room.  I stormed up the stairs to my bedroom and stood there steaming, and hurting.  That’s when it hit me.  I just couldn’t do this anymore.  I was done.  Done, with a potentially broken foot.  

 How in the world could I help my clients find clarity in their goals and purpose?  How could I help them release regrets and bad memories?  How could I help them have better relationships with their families?  How could I, guide them, to ultimately be in charge and in control of their lives and achieve their dreams, if I couldn’t do any of that myself???  

 After pulling myself together and apologizing to my children, I made it through the day.  The next day, as I limped into swim team practice, someone asked me what happened to my foot.  I was so embarrassed, so ashamed.  What would they think of me and my ability to coach if I was losing my temper and kicking things??  But, since they were a friend, I told them what happened.  And they laughed.  And then someone else asked what happened and THEY laughed!!  But I think the real eye opener was when I had to tell my chiropractor, who seems so perfect and healthy and calm, who is also a perfect person to refer people to me.  When I sheepishly told her what I did, she HIGH FIVED ME!!  What was going on??  And that was when I realized it.  We are all in the same boat!  We ALL have stuff going on in our lives!  We ALL have regrets and limiting beliefs.  WE ALL DO.

 I realized, then, that I was actually the perfect person to help people, especially moms.  Because I KNEW what it felt like to be in that spot where you want to do more but your mind and life seem to be spinning out of your control.  I knew what it was like to lose my temper over the complete feeling of overwhelm.  But I could help because I KNEW an amazing technique that I could teach them and their children, that could truly change their lives.  I came to the realization that I was trying to be perfect.  That I thought I couldn’t possibly coach others until I had achieved perfection and control and peace in my life.  I realized how completely wrong I was.  There is no perfection in life.  There will always be things that come up and trigger you.  There will always be calendars and chores to juggle.  But HOW you react to all that, is what it is really all about.  I realized that by teaching people EFT, I was giving them a lifelong tool that they could use to help themselves.  I realized that through my practice, my coaching, I could help people release those limiting beliefs they had carried through life, so they could achieve the dreams they thought were impossible.  I realized I could show children this tool to use for when they were feeling worried, or nervous or upset.  I realized that I could do this because I was right there with my clients, getting past the same types of blocks and resistances they had.  I was one of them.  About